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The first online dating profile I ever set up was on Ok Cupid when I was 21.I remember taking a lot of time on it — making sure to pick the exact words to describe exactly what I was looking for.I was lucky to learn that lesson early on in my dating life — that the perfect partner doesn’t exist, and you shouldn’t expect the people you’re dating to fit neatly into a box of “must haves.” But I took that idea a little too far, and completely abandoned my list completely, dating anyone and everyone who swiped right on me.I had fun for a while, and because I wasn’t looking for an exact “type,” I opened myself up to a lot of unique, exciting dudes.I went out with a whiskey distiller, a few investment bankers, a bunch of comedians, a carpenter who hung all of the shelves in my apartment, a tugboat captain (seriously), and spent an entire summer dating Australian men exclusively.

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My recent dates have felt less like I’m auditioning men for a role in my life, and more like I’m just getting to know a new friend.

) But I’ve continued to date, lest I become the last female cousin in my family to get married — a fate all of my now-married-or-engaged cousins tell me is “no big deal,” but they’re not eager to swap places with me.

About three weeks ago, I realized that the past four dates I’d gone on had failed The Naked Test. But I didn’t want to get down and do the nasty with them.

This led me to the therapist’s chair, and then to eventually delete my dating apps.

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Of course, I’ve made my triumphant return to the dating scene and have had many lovely experiences since — including a two-month long relationship with a guy which ended in a total clusterfuck.

So about a year ago, I decided that I would only pursue dates with men who were looking for a relationship. So I was left with guys who were genuinely interested in finding a partner and settling down — right? Because, as I’ve written before, saying you want a relationship and actually being in a relationship are actually two completely different things.

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